View Full Version : Five songs at your funeral

04-05-2013, 12:31 AM
Five songs at your funeral ... I'm in that mood to see what music people would like played at their funeral, this isn't a morbid thing, i don't intent to die.. full stop. But I went to a friends funeral last week, she had been ill for a short while and even though I wanted to broach the subject of the funeral and all the things that she wanted for it .. well i did'nt, suppose I was a coward, I never got around to it, to be truthful i did'nt have the balls to man-up and say " what the fuck do you want when we send you off to the next chapter?" wish I had now, but that's what happens when people don't really talk about things that matter. Funny thing is we talked for ages about her son before he was born, life seems the easy thing to plan for .. death no one wants to talk about, its as if in the whole history of mankind they are the only one to ever depart from this fucked up world. Strange thing is she, like me, never believed in some kind of afterlife , "There's now and fuck all else after, so make sure you burn the candle to its arse before you leave", she once said (pissed) but then you get that moment when your late for work and the car on that day decides not to start, its not your fault, or maybe it was, don't matter your plans are screwed you have to adjust, but then your phone cuts off , you wonder back to the door and the key snap's in the lock .. you now understand that no matter what you do,fate has intervened , your destiny has slipped out of your hands and is being determined by strangers in medical masks wearing floppy blue and green scrubs and squeaky rubber shoes, who don't care about the outcome more that it will make an interesting paper they can publish. Strutting like saints with their fucking halos obscuring the fact that they are scared children that don't have a clue whats going on, but trained better than North Korean soldiers to show concern and empathy just before they put the gun to the back of your head and pull the trigger with an emotional detachment out of Hitlers death camps. The operation failed , unfortunately she died on the operation table, but she understood the risks. OK I wanted to rant, shout in their face that.... only "they" new the risks, that's what you had said, and was what you wanted her to believe, the chance to live or a max of 12 months to sort shit out and then death. Pointless, might as well of shouted at my PC for what good it would do.Hey if they have say 10 more tries they may solve the problem, maybe she was 3rd of 5th who knows, they will go home kiss their kids good night and get into bed with their wife's who discuss the cost off filling up the people carrier.

Oh yeah sorry lol the songs..

1. Primal Scream Movin' on up.
2. Tears for fears , Advice for the young at heart.
3. Lisa Stansfield These are the days of our lives.
4. Joe Cocker , with a little help from my friends .
5. Bob Marley One love / People Get Ready

04-05-2013, 09:21 AM
no songs no funeral no crack pot stood over my box tapping into loved ones infantile needs, thats my wishes,waste of money lol im more concerned with who ends up with my tools!

John S
04-05-2013, 09:52 AM
I'm with Deisel, I don't do funerals, not even going willing to my own.
People I have known are in my head, not in a wooden box that some rip off merchant has knocked up with cheap Polish labour out of a bit of laminated MDF and charged the same for as a Strike CNC [ Sorry Ant, bad comparison :beguiled: ]

Your body is only the box you came in.

You can hire a 3 cu yd skip for 85 and those bastards want 3 grand plus for the same service ??

Crem charges 462 at present cost for the service and all the legal work.

So throw the body in the back of the Donald, up the crem, throw it out, pay 462 then off to the pub where the balance is behind the bar.

Can't fault that ???/

04-05-2013, 02:00 PM
Fivetide, I reckon your friend would have been more than happy with her funeral whatever it was!

I am with Deisel and JohnS on this. I couldn't give a damn what is done with my earthly bodily remains when I do pass on... Personally I'd be quite happy just being left out as food for crows, foxes, vultures, sharks, or whatever.

But modern society probably prevents that and my blood ... 50% Scots, 12.5% Dutch, 12.5% Irish, never mind 25% English... the biggest penny-pinchers ;-) ... suggests to me that it's madness spending anything more on a funeral than the cheapest option possible!

My "spirit" would be extremely proud if my girls could somehow negotiate the absolute minimum cost possible even if it is that of a pauper, and put what is saved to productive use! A cremation from a reusable or cardboard coffin or even a strong paper bag if they make them fat enough or whatever is the cheapest is the best.

Just hearing about somebody like MaggieT planning her own funeral makes me want to puke...... how friggin self-important can the human soul become?

John S
04-05-2013, 02:39 PM
Write a book, make a film and then you become immortal

04-05-2013, 07:25 PM
oh this is interesting, I thought I was the only one who found funerals to be a bit odd and a waste of time.
I've been thinking about leaving my body to science, that way something useful comes of it and then presumably its disposed of when they're finished, at no cost to my family.

Of course funerals are about the people left alive coming to terms with their loss and all that, so I think I'd let them choose the music, should I have a proper funeral.

04-05-2013, 08:03 PM
Thanks for the reply’s guys, hey I was on a downer , takes time to hit you I suppose, anyway she did get a good send off , one massive piss up , two fights and I think her 2nd granddaughter was conceived.. lol. In all honesty I'm 47 and I've been to three funerals, I can’t stand the bloody things. Although I am the official porn wiper for 4 of my friends who have sworn on an oath and JD that they will do the same, so I have to go around hide any stuff that might upset their family and wipe the hard drives clean of porn.. in one case hide the gimp mask he got from Vegas that he bought for fun but somehow never made it into the bin!

Peter Griffin
05-05-2013, 10:40 PM
Paradise City Guns n Roses

06-05-2013, 09:55 AM
i've always said i want shooting before i become too much of a burden to anyone and i know my missus wouldnt like it but i'd rather not have a funeral and let my organs ect be used by someone else if they are fit enough.

John S
06-05-2013, 11:26 AM
OK 5 songs in no order

Queen, Another one bites the dust, in memory of all the Gecko drives that blew up for no apparent reason.

Berlin, Take my breath away, for cutting PVC on the laser.

Meatloaf, Two outa three ain't bad, for all the Syil owners out there.

John Cash, I walk the line, for finally getting the steps per correct.

Roy Orbison, Only the lonely, for all the Linux CNC users out there.