Difficult to help without more information and specific questions, but perhaps it was not help you were looking for, just wanted to express your frustration. Well, I feel your pain and feel sorry for you.

Regarding the spindle, I remember having seen something similar on CNC Zone and that issue as far as I remember was solved by Mactec4, so I suggest you look up that conversation. I can't give you a direct link, since I don't remember exactly, but if you can't find it you can always ask Mactec for help.

I hope you get it solved.