I can sympathise with the challenge you face.I recently managed to get my much more basic machine running and along the way had to grasp several new concepts.I am a little surprised that you didn't just download LinuxCNC and try running it from a live DVD.You might still find it worth a try as it will run with Mesa cards and give you all the control features you were hoping to get.By running a live DVD you aren't making any changes to your computer and you might be pleasantly surprised.I got through the process for my stepper based system with a parallel port,so can't really comment on the way to deal with an ethernet based system.I do fully understand the exasperation along the way and can assure you that when the machine finally produces the part you were wanting,the satisfaction is immense.Good luck with the rest of the project.