Bit of a result here.

I started wading through the threacle that is Eagle user ulps....and found one written in 2001, with the obtuse name of dose-pro.ulp!

Anyway, when I run it within eagle on my pcb layout, it creates two files

1. A list of SMD pad surface areas and the pretend tool that it has married for that size of pad...

Tool Pad-X Pad-Y Square mm^2
T01 X000055 Y000120 | 000.66
T02 X000060 Y000060 | 000.36
T03 X000060 Y000220 | 001.32
T04 X000079 Y000089 | 000.70
T05 X000100 Y000140 | 001.40
T06 X000114 Y000185 | 002.12
T07 X000120 Y000120 | 001.44
T08 X000140 Y000140 | 001.96
T09 X000160 Y000160 | 002.56
T10 X000160 Y000180 | 002.88
T11 X000160 Y000180 | 002.88

and just as importantly...

2. a file containing all the SMD pad coords and auto-grouped by tool size, for example....

T01
X000790Y-00460
X000790Y-00270
X001050Y-00460
X001050Y-00365
X001050Y-00270
T02
X-00146Y000683
T03
X-00262Y-00238
X-00262Y-00111
X-00262Y000016
X-00262Y000143
X-00262Y000270
X-00262Y000397
X-00262Y000524
X000258Y-00238


This latter file actually opens up just fine as a drill NC file in USB CNC (so I now have all the points the solder dispenser needs to go to)....so all I need now is for the USB CNC software to raise a output pin signal of somekind at say Z +.0.2mm (start the dispense), then dwell (pause) depending on tool number, then release the pin signal (stop the dispense).....and then I'm done!