Five songs at your funeral ... I'm in that mood to see what music people would like played at their funeral, this isn't a morbid thing, i don't intent to die.. full stop. But I went to a friends funeral last week, she had been ill for a short while and even though I wanted to broach the subject of the funeral and all the things that she wanted for it .. well i did'nt, suppose I was a coward, I never got around to it, to be truthful i did'nt have the balls to man-up and say " what the fuck do you want when we send you off to the next chapter?" wish I had now, but that's what happens when people don't really talk about things that matter. Funny thing is we talked for ages about her son before he was born, life seems the easy thing to plan for .. death no one wants to talk about, its as if in the whole history of mankind they are the only one to ever depart from this fucked up world. Strange thing is she, like me, never believed in some kind of afterlife , "There's now and fuck all else after, so make sure you burn the candle to its arse before you leave", she once said (pissed) but then you get that moment when your late for work and the car on that day decides not to start, its not your fault, or maybe it was, don't matter your plans are screwed you have to adjust, but then your phone cuts off , you wonder back to the door and the key snap's in the lock .. you now understand that no matter what you do,fate has intervened , your destiny has slipped out of your hands and is being determined by strangers in medical masks wearing floppy blue and green scrubs and squeaky rubber shoes, who don't care about the outcome more that it will make an interesting paper they can publish. Strutting like saints with their fucking halos obscuring the fact that they are scared children that don't have a clue whats going on, but trained better than North Korean soldiers to show concern and empathy just before they put the gun to the back of your head and pull the trigger with an emotional detachment out of Hitlers death camps. The operation failed , unfortunately she died on the operation table, but she understood the risks. OK I wanted to rant, shout in their face that.... only "they" new the risks, that's what you had said, and was what you wanted her to believe, the chance to live or a max of 12 months to sort shit out and then death. Pointless, might as well of shouted at my PC for what good it would do.Hey if they have say 10 more tries they may solve the problem, maybe she was 3rd of 5th who knows, they will go home kiss their kids good night and get into bed with their wife's who discuss the cost off filling up the people carrier.

Oh yeah sorry lol the songs..

1. Primal Scream Movin' on up.
2. Tears for fears , Advice for the young at heart.
3. Lisa Stansfield These are the days of our lives.
4. Joe Cocker , with a little help from my friends .
5. Bob Marley One love / People Get Ready